Thursday, May 7, 2020

You're Welcome (Moana Parody, now by Solas)


But what can I say except, you're welcome
For the Fade, the Veil, your dreams
And hey, it's okay, today,
You're welcome!
I'm still here despite my elven schemes...
—Solas, singing as Maui (no, okay, no he did not—he never, ever did that... but HE SHOULD HAVE)

This is my signal that I will now occasionally be posting more goofy stuff here on my blog to accompany the more serious lore-stuff.

Onward! You've been warned... 

This post comes courtesy of a good friend of mine, Eryn, who about a year ago wistfully mentioned to me that she wished we had a version of "You're Welcome" from Moana that was from Solas's point of view. 

Well, of course, since I'm a part-time lyricist in my other life, this was all I needed, and I scribbled furiously and immediately and came up with something rough—but—I also totally omitted the breakaway and cheated some of the rhythms.

Still, it kept nagging at me, so here's my final version, including breakaway, below.

NOTE: Please note that this is just intended as a respectful and playful parody of the wonderful song for the motion picture Moana, originally written by the incomparable Lin-Manuel Miranda, and copyright © the Walt Disney Music Company. No infringement is intended. Also, go watch Moana, because it's gorgeous. Seriously. 

Onward:

DE DA'RAHN (YOU'RE WELCOME)

Oh Lavellan, I see what's confusing here—
You're faced with ancient Elvhen, and it's strange
You don't even know how you feel—so adorable!
But it's fun to see that mortals never change...

So open your eyes, let's begin
Yes, it's really me, the Dread Wolf: Breathe it in!
I know it's a lot: the face, the bod—
I mean, these thighs AND an elven god!

But what can I say except, you're welcome
For the Fade, the Veil, your dreams
And hey, it's okay, today,
You're welcome!
I'm still here despite my little elven schemes...

Like, who has a staff that held up the sky
While dodging Evanuri... This guy!
And then when the gods went and made you a slave—
Who shut them up in prison just to save?
(You're lookin' at him, knave!)

Oh, and also I gave you this Keep—
You're welcome!
To guard your people in their sleep

And then yeah, I stopped the Dragon's Breath—
You're welcome!
To save you from captivity and death

So what can I say except you're welcome
For those dudes I turned to stone...
There's no need to pray, it's okay
De da’rahn!
Was just throwin' some little shems a bone!
You're welcome— 
Lavellan...

SPOKEN:

Come to think of it Inky, dear, I could go on and on
Explain every plot point to you my own dearly beloved vhenan
The Veil, and the Spirits, the Fade—
See, that was all Solas just makin' the grade

Imprisoned the gods (yeah that Fade door it shuts)
And if they think I regret it they're nuts!
So what was my lesson the Dalish won't take away?
Don't mess with Solas when he's on a break-away!

And that vallaslin there on your skin
Was simply an image of sin—
Of where elves stumbled and I let it happen 
That's why the Veil's gonna go tippity-tippity-tap-tap-tappin'!

It's your arm's last day, so just say,
You're welcome!
Though, okay, yeah I broke your heart
Still, now I'm back (cough) hooray, 
You're welcome
'Cause I wanted to do my part!

And that's why I came to say
You're welcome!
'Cause I've now got a Veil to toast
I'm walking away, away
You're welcome!
It was nadas and that's no boast—
You're welcome!
De da’rahn!
You're welcome!
And... thank you!

Sorry everyone. I had to do it. (Ducks to avoid flying tomatoes.)

1 comment:

  1. It's so sweet and accurate, at least in my head! I hope you make a lyrics video with voice and music, just as a real song, it would be amazing! <3

    ReplyDelete

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